The weather for the first weekend of Jazz Fest looks very good for all three days. The weather tomorrow looks to be superb. The temperature should be in the low 70s with minimal humidity and 20-30 mph breezes. Absolute heaven!
Jazz Fest is always fun but it's much more pleasant when it's not too hot. The hottest day I remember was when I saw Joan Osborne during the peak of the God song mania in 1995. There was no cloud cover to shield us from the sun, it was in the upper 80s and the humidity was unmerciful. It was extremely crowded around the stage where she was performing which only adds to the stickiness factor. Juannie and I always bring a spray bottle with a fan to keep us cool so we shared our mist with the sweltering crowd around us as we danced and sang along. Joan Osborne put on a great show that day making her performance just as memorable as the heat.
Port-a-Lets are an unfortunate part of the Jazz Fest experience. Everyone makes the best of it and jokes about it even though it is disgusting. There are usually 10-12 of them lined up next to each other so a large group is usually gathered patiently waiting in the lines.
At the end of one Jazz Fest day, several of us were waiting to use Port-a-Lets before walking back to our car. The folks around us were in good moods chatting with other people in line. Right before the guy in front of me could get into the vacant pee hut, a very drunk couple cut in line and jumped into it together. This caused much consternation among everyone in all the lines. First of all, you just don’t cut in front of someone else in this situation and second of all, you don’t take a guest with you into a Port-a-Let.
Five minutes pass and the couple are still in there. Everyone was yelling at them and laughing. People were hanging around to see how long it would be before they emerged from the poo pod. Ten minutes elapse and people were lingering to see how long this would go on.
Fifteen minutes go by and people are now knocking on the door of the Port-a-Let. Two policemen notice all the excitement and come over to see what’s up. They start yelling and banging on the door threatening them with arrest if they don’t vacate immediately. Another couple of minutes pass and the police start peeking into the vents.
Now we all knew what they were doing in there but it was quite hilarious to see the shocked expressions on the cops’ faces after they took the look. Then they just shook their heads and started laughing. Well, this put everyone into an incredible uproar.
It was a Port-a-Let jamboree. The crowd just kept on growing because this bunch of evacuation destinations was right by one of the main exits. People would ask about the commotion and decide to hang around. Twenty minutes and it was almost chaos. More policemen were walking up to get the story from their compatriots but none of them seemed inclined to do anything. People in the crowd were still yelling at the couple and beating on the door.
And then finally, the couple of the hour emerged lurching out of their stinky love shack. There was a burst of wild applause and cheering. People were taking pictures as Mr. Wonderful zipped up his pants and Ms. Romance pulled down her skirt. She was too drunk to realize that part of her skirt was stuck in her thong so her ass was hanging out.
When the classy gent realized that hundreds of people were watching and yelling at them, he shot the bird at the crowd. This caused complete pandemonium as people just howled with laughter and then the couple stumbled away into the sunset.