November 17th, 2005

sexy, lady

Not Into New Monogamy

Do you and your significant other have a fifty-mile rule? Do you have a work boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you a party bisexual?

Fifty-mile rule = You don’t sleep with anyone who lives in your city.
Work boyfriend/girlfriend = A colleague — your lunchmate, IM partner, smoking buddy, etc. No sex, though.
Party bisexual = Woman or a man who engages in same-sex sex-play after multiple martinis.

Some more definitions of "Managed Monogamy" behind the cut.
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All of the definitions are from an article in New York Magazine called The New Monogamy. It's rather long but intriguing and gives a number of variations in today's open relationships.

In my younger days, I've had several cute guys as my work boyfriends. In one case, I was single and he was not. He was dating a girl who worked for the same company but at another location. We flirted and goofed on each other all day long and went out several nights a week with other co-workers including his girlfriend. And then one night everyone else, even his virginal gal, went home early and we stayed out and played until very, very late. One thing led to another and I quickly became the other woman. We continued to flirt and goof off during the day and we found ways to keep up the secret fooling around at night. Quite a hot summer. I felt bad about his girlfriend but not bad enough to stop what we were doing. (I was not an Ethical Slut.) Then he left for boot camp in the National Guard and it ended with no ill will between us and still no knowledge of our extra-curriculars by his girlfriend.

While he was away, she talked about him regularly with me because I was his "good friend" and shared how much she looked forward to him returning home because they were getting engaged. When he returned home, we had one last fling. And they did get engaged but broke up six months later. He called me right after that but I'd moved on. We didn't hook up again. So work boyfriends can and often do become more than that in my experience and in stories I've heard from many friends.

Juannie and I met at work. We carried on our romance secretly because he was my boss and acted like we were just work boyfriend/girlfriend.

These days, we don't carry Celebrity Trading Cards but we do regularly discuss the ever-changing five celebrity hotties on what we call our "Free Pass List". I certainly enjoy the idea of Salma Hayek (a mainstay on my list) or that cute guy on The Office US (new addition) but I would never act on it - even if the remote possibility actually presented itself. For me it's an interesting diversion and I assume it is the same for Juannie. But then he did add Kate Winslet to his list when he found out that she was filming a movie in New Orleans a while back. Hmmm...

At this point, I know enough about myself to state that I do not have whatever it would take to be in an open relationship of any kind. I know I couldn't handle the idea of Juannie being with someone else. I wouldn't want to be present for it or be the one at home imagining it. I don't share well. I am selfish. I am not that carefree.

The article is certainly interesting. I am printing it out so Juannie can read it tonight when he gets home from work. I am sure it will inspire some lively conversation and possibly more.

Title Bout

Pick a band/artist ~ now answer the questions using ONLY SONG TITLES from the chosen band/artist.

Name: Denise

1. artist you chose: U2
2. are you a male or female: Lady With The Spinning Head
3. describe yourself: One Step Closer
4. how do you feel about yourself: Dancing Barefoot
5. describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Drowning Man
6. describe your current boyfriend/girlfriend: All I Want Is You
7. describe your current location: Where The Streets Have No Name
8. describe where you want to be: Another Time Another Place
9. your best friend is: Even Better Than The Real Thing
10. your favorite color: Silver & Gold
11. whats the weather like: Beautiful Day
12. if your life was a television show what would it be: Night & Day
13. what is life to you: Mysterious Ways
14. what is the best advice you have to give: Love & Peace Or Else
15. if you could change your name what would it be: Gloria
16. tell me something about the person who posted this before you: Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World (Eileen)

Snagged from gypsy_teacher.