October 4th, 2006


How I Joke, Cheezer Maid!

Hilarious e-mail correspondence between a prankster and an African money scammer.

"After receiving a good 20 of these African money scams, I finally broke down and wrote back to one. Amazingly, considering the pornographic nature of my initial posting, the party on the other end considered that I might be serious. I found that as long as I dangled the possibility of my 'many many bank account' in front of him, he couldn't quite give up, even as I got exponentially more inappropriate. This was perhaps a slightly dangerous game, but I had a blast."

I laughed until I cried, collected myself and laughed until crying again several times. Some bon mots from the exchange...

"My nipples shrivel with disappointmentness. My testicles ascend into my body. My bank account throbs with wonder."

"My jewels are at your lips, most gingerly"

"When massaging a crow, don't neglect your bag of turnips, most especially in the midnight hour."


Some suggested questions to ask a contractor before signing anything:

Can you read simple instructions?

Are those real tools in your trailer or are they cardboard cutouts?

Do I get to punch you for not completing a punch list?

When I speak do you hear dolphin-like squeals or actual words?

Does tomorrow ever come for you?

And for extra bonus points, an essay question:

Explain the concept of finite numbers.