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It's been hard to avoid Britney Spears and Heather Mills McCartney this week.

Britney has been taking it on the chin for driving around in a convertible while wearing giant curlers with her 8-month old son flopped over in naptime catatonia sitting face forward in his car seat. And then today, she almost drops the poor tyke while carrying him against her hip while toting a glass of water in the other hand. She also announced that she is pregnant again. And the news has been floating around that she's no longer a follower of Kabbalah because she stated that her son is now her religion.

Heather and her husband, some guy named Paul McCartney, announced yesterday in a joint statement that they are separating after four years of marriage. Apparently, Heather has been rubbing many people the wrong way for a while with her overeagerness for high-profile charity work and penchant for self-promotion. Next week, she faces the unfortunately timed release of her self-help book, Life Balance, which shares her tips for "spiritual, physical and emotional" happiness.

I have been following the difficulties of these women voraciously all week. Why am I taking such an interest in the personal troubles of these two? They are both successful and attractive women and arguably could be viewed as role models. I have felt secret glee at their ongoing misfortune. I've chuckled maliciously at all the snarky headlines using Britney and Beatles song titles, "Oops, She Does It Again!", "She's Leaving Home", "Don't Drop That Baby One More Time", "She Loves You Yeah Yeah Right" to name just a few. I feel very badly for Sir Paul and little Sean Preston but why don't I have any sympathy for Britney or Heather?

I think it's because they seemed to have it all going for them but still managed to muck it up for themselves. Such poor judgment on both their parts on so many levels! Why did Britney marry that Kevin when he is obviously a heel and serve junk food at her wedding reception? Why did Heather force Paul to dye his hair that weird color and go slumming on the UK version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

It may be time for Heather and Britney to take a break from the spotlight and focus on their children. They can use that time to reflect on what went wrong and come back with new images (less brittle for Heather, less bumpkin for Britney) and attitudes.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 19th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
Britney is a trainwreck that I absolutely can't stop watching. I shouldn't care... and yet I do. It's weird.

I can hardly give her crap for almost dropping a baby, though. Because if it had been me I am positive that I would have dropped the kid... and it probably wouldn't have been the first time it happened either. I should probably never have children :)
May. 20th, 2006 05:55 am (UTC)
Britney is the tabloid's gift that keeps on giving. I am a klutz too so I'm sympathetic on that count. And if she had only almost dropped the baby, it wouldn't be a big deal but combined with two visits from child protection services already this year it's newsworthy.
May. 19th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
[rantpants: on --- you've been warned!]

Undine mentioned Paul McKartknee's divorce, and I said I didn't even know he'd remarried. She couldn't believe I didn't know or hadn't read anything. I said, "Last I heard his vegetarian wife died of breast cancer, and I'm not sure how I even stumbled on that bit of useless knowledge."

Truly, I loathe all things Beatles. I'm glad they make other people happy though.

And Britney --- she'll always be My Britney, but gawd, she is a fucking t.r.a.i.n. w.r.e.c.k. the last year or so, on the most embarassing of levels. Truly, she has proven what 10,000 breeders prove daily, that you should be licensed to breed. Period.

I'm not sure why though two women who should have it all together don't. Wonder if guys would be scrutinized under as harsh a light.

[end rantpants]

May. 20th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
The light of the leering press and public is harsh but they have both opened themselves up to the intensified scrutiny with the following:

The "my baby is my religion" comment really set me on edge with Britney. If you are now worshipping your child then maybe you need to focus more on basic safety practices so he continues to be around for you to worship. Parenting is not all kumbaya moments. You need to deal with the nitty-gritty stuff like carseats and scarves to hide your giant scary hair rollers. ;-)

And the self-help book just comes off as so patronizing from Heather. She totally lucked out by attracting one of the richest musicians in the world, while he was on the rebound from his dead do-gooder wife, with her one-leggedness and goody-goody pose. Now she feels the need to share the secrets to her "successful" life in a book.
May. 20th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Undine & I discussed our "winning the lottery" (aka attracting on e of the richest musicians in the world).

All I could do was look at Undine, hold up my empty wallet and say, "Sorry about your luck, honey!"
May. 20th, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC)
Undine's rich is in all the ways that count having you in her life!
May. 24th, 2006 12:00 am (UTC)
Yes, but my back catalog isn't as extensive.

As of yesterday, no one (including Michael Jackson) has shown any interest in purchasing it! :P~
May. 20th, 2006 06:21 am (UTC)
Most celebrities are sooooo boring to me - I don't know why people are fascinated - I can't take them seriously. I mean, Paris Hilton? It boggles my mind. Aniston and Jolie? All I know is that all of these people are fabulously wealthy - I'm more inclined to save my sympathy for those with fewer resources at their disposal. And I don't even buy that "oh, but they are under the microscope because they are famous and therefore have special problems" argument since I think there is a lot these celebrities can do to mitigate the media attention and they simply don't.

My pet peeve is when there are articles about how some of these women with children "do it all" and how we should admire them. I'm sorry, but when you have housemaids, nannies, cooks, personal assistants, personal shoppers and fitness trainers - you ain't doing "it all". Not by half. I could raise a dozen children without displacing a hair if I had all that help.

But, boy, Heather is going to be sooooooo rich. I wonder if Stella will start talking to her dad again?
May. 20th, 2006 06:47 am (UTC)
My interest waxes and wanes with celeb gossip. But this week I've just been so transfixed with all this hoopla. I

If I had someone to just wash and lay out my clothes for me everyday, I'd be happy. Plus it might be nice to have a doggie sitter to be with the pups all day while I am at work. But if I could afford the help, then I could stay home and play with them myself and have time to manage my own wardrobe.

And Heather has hit the jackpot whether that was her intention or not. I do hope Paul's kids are nice to their little sister.
May. 20th, 2006 09:34 am (UTC)
What's Sad is.........
that Paul FOUGHT to have Heather. His kids didn't like her to begin with. And now their splitting up. I'm with you, no sympathy for her, but I feel for Paul. And I love ALL things Beatles (although Paul was my least fave).
I feel for Britney because while I would never drive my car with my kid ON MY LAP, her other mistakes are forgivable, so I guess I relate. I DON'T like the idiot she's married too. I think she just rushed because she "Wanted to be a young mom". She shoulda held out till the right guy came along.
May. 20th, 2006 10:18 am (UTC)
Re: What's Sad is.........
I think Paul initially saw Heather and her behavior in the favorable light of his years of wedded bliss to Linda. She pursued peace and animal loving causes like Linda. And I really think there was a hint of a savior complex on his part because of Heather's questionable past and the amputation.

Britney is now a mom but still shows her party girl tendencies at times even with the kid in tow. He's an eight-month old baby not a chihuahua you can stuff in a purse. (I don't agree with the dog as accessory trend either.)
May. 20th, 2006 09:39 am (UTC)
I just want to add my two cents. I actually feel sorry for Brittany. I think she only knows of parenting from her own childhood, which was trailer trashy. I think she should have a permanent parenting instructor and "kick the ass of Kfed out the door", instructor. I think she could be so much better with proper guidance. The poor poor children of those two.

McCartney....meh. She'll be rich, he won't notice.
May. 20th, 2006 10:20 am (UTC)
Britney's mom is definitely no prize. I was particularly proud of the incident where the mom orchestrated milkshake-pouring with Britney and the younger sister all over the vehicles of some paparazzi.
May. 20th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
Britney's been showing her Kentwood roots for awhile now.. and I should probably apologize to all citizens of Kentwood along with that statement. :) Seriously though, she's a country girl who obviously wanted very badly to get away from it, but its so deep in her she can't act any other way. I partially feel bad for her because she's as out of touch with life as Michael Jackson is, but mostly don't because she should know better.

The whole Heather/Paul thing has made me strangely happy. I was always so happy for Paul and Linda, because it seemed like they were really truly in love, and then he goes and marries someone else so quickly.. it felt so wrong and old guy sleazy. Now he can get back to just being a great musician and father, hopefully. With all the money he's got, I'm sure he won't miss a quarter of it.
May. 20th, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)
First things first... Totally loving your icon!

You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of Britney. Yeehaw! She obviously is surrounded by sycophants who won't tell her she's acting a fool. Plus she's going to have lots of trouble explaining all of this to poor Sean Preston when he's old enough to Google himself.

I said in an earlier comment that I think Paul viewed this marriage from the perspective of someone who was lucky enough to have such a successful marriage the first time around. So he made the tragic mistake of marrying his rebound relationship too quickly after Linda's sad passing. I don't think that the money will be the contentious part of the settlement. Child custody is going to be very interesting.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


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