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Back In The Land Of The Living

Barely alive, lurching about aimlessly and deathly pale. That was me this week - a zombie with no appetite. I was released to go back to work on Thursday but still felt out of it. I woke up today feeling like I've returned to the land of the living.

I've been soulsick for so long. And as I sprawled miserably on the cool tile of the bathroom floor that first viral night, I realized that my body was at last catching up to how my heart and mind have felt since August 26th. All the roiling anxiety and clenching doubt were physically manifested. I've been turning a corner these last couple of months but this was the final purge of the negativity inside me. And now I finally feel that I am done with my personal plague of apprehension and uncertainty. This life is too short to live in perpetual fear of a future that I can't control. I feel at peace and ready to face whatever opportunities are coming.

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daisyfair
Jun. 11th, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
are you ok? talk to me. what's going on?
life is one shot. there are scary things, bad things, but happy things. and what matters is that at the end you know you did the best you could with that one shot even if there were some stupid things and some silly things, there will also have been lovely things.
silverdee
Jun. 12th, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your concern. I am doing fine now-physically and emotionally. It's been a tough year but I will remember the lovely things like Juannie's steadfastness, my family's resilience and the joy of being reunited with friends.

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romance, flower
silverdee
Fleur de Dee

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